Dancing On Her Own Terms
Latex Shorts, Bra & Gloves, Vex Clothing. Makeup provided by Love Craft Beauty. Photography Lanee Bird.
Ballet dancer Alexandra Jacob finds freedom in challenging the norms of a centuries-old art form and forging her own path.
Text Melissa Pandika
Photography Lanee Bird and Constantine Alexis
Ballet dancer Alexandra Jacob is an expert at holding tension — not only in her body, but in her art, as well. After a decade with Dance Theater of Harlem, Jacob drew on her professional training in classical ballet to explore more experimental, contemporary realms as an independent performer. In 2018, she collaborated with artist Nick Mauss for his multidisciplinary Transmissions Exhibition at the Whitney Museum of American Art. She’s also appeared in campaigns for leather brand Zana Bayne and Kanye West’s Yeezy line, and modeled for NAMILIA’s Fall/Winter 2020 runway collection “HEROTICA” at New York Fashion Week.
Indeed, Jacob often subverts the norms of ballet — an art form that tends to hew tightly to tradition — by blending it with elements of bondage, inspired by her exposure to the punk and leather scenes in her native San Francisco Bay Area. Her Instagram photos feature her in seemingly impossible poses, clad in harnesses and zentai suits, and suspended by shibari ropes.
Hella Pinay spoke with Jacob about her experiences falling in love with ballet, shifting creative directions, and creating and finding joy in this chaotic time.
Leather neck chokers (worn around leg), Zana Bayne. Photography Constantine Alexis.
How did your ballet journey start?
Alexandra Jacob: When I was a kid in Berkeley, California, my mother put me through ballet classes, which I didn’t want to attend at all. Then I developed a very close friendship with a teacher who changed my whole world, Xiaoping Liu-Moore. She saw a little version of herself in me and kind of became my ballet mother. I realized, “This is what I want to do. I want to be just like her.”
I come from a very traditional Filipino family. I think deep down, my parents were actually rooting for me, but I understood that culturally, they also had to uphold certain wishes from our family. They didn’t want me to pursue ballet professionally, so I studied architecture in college. I was happy, but I was missing my first love. At some point, it clicked in my mind that my body could do architecture later, but it couldn’t do ballet forever — so why don’t I just do it now?
In my third year of college, I stalked Dance Theater of Harlem while they were on tour in Berkeley and asked if they’d consider me. They remembered me from their summer program, which I attended when I was 17, and invited me back with them to New York. I had a trial version with them one summer, and then they hired me on the spot. I’m happy I followed my gut.
Latex gloves and thigh high stockings, Vex Clothing. Leather chain link skirt, Zana Bayne. Photography Constantine Alexis.
You left the Dance Theater of Harlem to forge your own path. What catalyzed that decision?
Alexandra Jacob: I loved touring with Dance Theater of Harlem, but I was on the same rhythm for 10 years. After a while, you need to break the cycle for yourself. There were a lot of things I wanted to do creatively, but I never had the time. I still wanted to hold onto ballet as the foundation, but I could see it going in this very different direction that I didn’t see anyone else taking.
I started meeting a lot of creatives in other disciplines who inspired me to take ballet to a whole other level. When I did that, I faced a lot of backlash. The ballet world is generally a conservative space. I get unsolicited comments about how I’m offending ballet. It hurts, but I know in time, people will be replicating this. It’s a little frustrating, but I’m proud that I did it anyway.
Leather leg straps and corset top, Zana Bayne. Photography Constantine Alexis.
We’re living through a period of not only sickness and social upheaval, but also more visible violence against Asian women. How has this influenced your art — especially as an Asian woman yourself, whose work explores bondage and agency?
Alexandra Jacob: I feel like this year was awful for everyone. My father was recently harassed. I had to leave my old neighborhood because I was getting harassed so much.
I also had a miscarriage. I’m pregnant now, so it’s been less than a year since I lost a child, and now I’m growing one. My husband is Greek, so I constantly think, “I’m going to have this biracial, beautiful child entering this world.” I’ve experienced so much shit from so many men. I’ve had so many racist slurs directed at me. Will my child see this? Will she experience it? It’s made me extra protective of how I want to create my space now as an artist. I think it’s even more apparent to me that everything I’ve wanted to say that I’ve suppressed, I need to say now.
I really wanted to take my child with me when she was in utero to these past few rallies against Asian hate in New York City so that when she’s born, I can tell her, “You were a part of something. You were a part of change.”
Latex opera gloves, Busted Brand. Rope choker, Voudou Ropes. Photography Constantine Alexis.
Latex catsuit, Polymorphe. Latex wristlet gloves, Vex Clothing. Chainmaille bikini bottom, Wholly Toledo. Photography Constantine Alexis.
What’s next? What are you excited about?
AJ: I’m looking forward to my body growing and seeing how that affects how I move. I know it will change after the baby. I’m excited to see it morph over time and to have this new being next to me. Maybe that can change the way other people see mothers working in the dance realm.
From Hella Pinay Issue 01: Resilience - Spring/Summer 2021.
HMUA Alexandra Jacob
Growing up Pinay, self-love and acceptance are ever growing and transforming